Synesthesia is a cross wiring of senses. In my case, I have colored and textured letters, numbers, and words. I also have a few singular sounds which are in shapes, textures and colors. It is something which I am aware of but it doesn’t overpower me in any way.
I explain this to people in this way: we all have our imagination and our memories. Synesthesia is much like an extra ‘screen’ which is right in front of me, much in the same way that my memory ‘screen’ or my imagination ‘screen’ is. I can recall any of these ‘screens’ as I want. I can see words on any of these screens, but on the Synesthesia ‘screen’ they are in their respective colors and textures.
Another way of explaining how aware I am of this: If I were driving through a village, I would notice that there were various buildings and stores, but not until I got out and looked into the windows would I notice the finer details like items in windows, the colors and such. That is how I am aware of Synesthesia…I am aware of it but not until I focus in on a word, do I see the details of the colors and textures.
For example, when I am reading a book, I see the words just like they are in the color of the print, although I am aware of their Synesthesia colors. If I want to examine a word specifically in my Synesthesia colors, I sort of put the word onto that ‘screen’ and can take a closer look at it.
An example: The word ‘mountain’ is the color and texture of many-times-washed big wale brown corduroy with some cream highlights somehow around the letters. It is mostly a cream colored background but with a bit of deep translucent green (The color of water in the ocean, salt water green, not fresh water.) (Single letters and numbers have their own distinct colors and textures but when formed into words, they take on a new look.) If I were to take each letter separately in the word, it would be like this:
M = earth beige brown, more like a background color and even though it tends to look like burlap (which is rough to the touch)if I were to touch it, it is actually softer, rounded, and has a slightly tweedish look to it, on a cream background and nice and quiet.
O = opaque white, big and friendly, not shiny, but smooth to the touch like touching stainless steel.
U = pale peach mixed slightly with very pale yellow, nondescript
N = Ocean water green, translucent, reminds me of the color of the Seattle city bus seats when I was a kid. some variegated and nice.
T = Is probably the most unnoticeable of all of the letters. Not ugly and not exceptionally pretty. Very thin of course on a light background of slight orange. A person who looks like the letter ‘T’ is the farmer in the film about the pig called ‘Babe’. His Jacket looked like ‘TH”.
A = black, shiny like an ant’s back with red background. A little ‘a’ appears more brown sometimes. I think it is because the red and black mix more. I think of it as a friendly girl (The little ‘a’).
I = black but outlined with a very thin line of white. In some words it can look like a very dark dark green. Translucent and is a girl.
So this is an example of what I see on my Synesthesia ‘screen’.
My ‘Maps’:
Every number system from shoe sizes to the centuries are on these ‘maps’ in my mind. (They have a more official name but I call them my maps.) I actually have to ‘move’ around in these maps in order to ‘see’ what I need to see. For instance, if a person says that they wear a size 7 shoe, I immediately see on my ‘map’ the shoe sizes. The numbers (starting with size 4 then 4 1/2 etc.) start down about even with my waist and are listed one on top of each other until around size 6 and 1/2. At that point they curve to the right and about size 8 they are going horizontal about even with my chin and end around size 14 slightly curving upwards. The numbers are the color of my numbers and are on a black or navy background.
I won’t take the time to describe in detail about my years or any other year maps except to say that if someone asks me about a certain year and I was living during that year, I ‘run’ and ‘stand’ next to that year so that I better understand the conversation which mentions that year. Often I will ‘pull’ up a month ‘file’ and have a ‘look’ into it if necessary. All of the years in my life are like ladders with the month ‘files’ in between the rungs. Each year has its own color and has its own position. Some of the years (ladders) lay flat and horizontal to those around them and some are end to end. For instance, the 1980’s are side by side going off to the right, whereas the 1970’s are going up to the 1980’s stacked on top of each other.
As each new year comes along, January is always at my feet and goes ‘up’ to December which is right above my head. When it changes to a new year, I sort of have to ‘jump’ up, over, and down to the new January which then suddenly I find it is back down at my feet. Sometimes I laugh at how much I have to ‘run around’!
How I found out that I had this:
I was casually reading a book review in the US News and World Report magazine one day with Synesthesia in the title. I had never heard this word before. As I was reading about people who saw words, letters, and numbers in colors and textures, for the first time it dawned on me that this was not what everyone did! I also found out that the fact that all number systems I have in my head which are on what I call ‘maps’ was not usual either. I even found out that the few singular sounds I hear in shapes and colors is also not the usual. I was so surprised! I kept saying to myself, ‘that is amazing; I can’t believe it!’ Then for the first time I began to ask people who I knew about it, and it was such a surprise to find out that they didn’t see in their minds like I do! People wonder why I didn’t find out earlier. (I was in my late 40’s when I did find out.) I think it is because for the same reason, you don’t usually talk to people about how we breath.
This crossing of senses hasn’t been a big problem for me particularly. I have found sometimes that I have mixed up names because some names are similar combinations of color and texture. I do know that I would feel lost if I didn’t have Synesthesia. My maps are very important in order to be orientated to what is going on around me and there is never a dull day with my letters, numbers, and words in colors and textures!
